2 new, and one disappeared...

As everyone knows I have been a roommate to Auni and Puppy for a long time and was really surprised when the humans brought new roomies into our little clique. Their names are Ahmet and Moon. They seemed ok but I was a little worried that they would be messy or trouble makers. They have been living with us for a few Weeks now and they are the greatest! Holy shit they are fun and playful! Now they have become my bestest friends ever. There are even times we get into trouble with the humans daily and I love it! Well the mommy human had become a grumpy person but I guess we all figured out how grumpy she can get. I decided to show Ahmet how to climb on the bed. It had been a while since I had done it and I really didn't think the mommy human would mind but Holy Fuck she lost it. She started to yell and the daddy human took us down and said something in his human language that I didn't understand but Ahmet and Moon did. They spoke human! They said that the daddy human said that the mommy human doesn't want the babies on the bed anymore because she wants us to learn that the bed is a no-no. WTF? We have been aloud to climb on and off of everything but now she is telling us we cant climb on the bed, why??? Ahmet said that the daddy human said it was because a baby human is going to be here soon and that it is not a good idea to let us climb all over the baby human. Why not and what is a fucking baby human? Ahmet said a baby human is really little like us but it looks like the mommy and daddy human and that the baby human can not be played with like the mommy and daddy humans. Ahmet is very smart! He also said that the baby human is why the mommy human is such a fucking bitch! LOL he called her a fucking bitch! I had to laugh but Ahmet was being serious. Oh well she is getting fat too that fucking bitch! Ahmet said its not funny and that the mommy human was not getting fat she is getting big because the baby human is growing inside of her. Well I don't care she doesn't have to be a fucking butch and I will climb an the fucking bed when ever I want! It is in my room and I can do it all I want! But she just makes me get down anyways...damn stupid bitch.
Well we have had tried to encounter and see Morris the Mean but lately he has been MIA. We haven't heard him for days. I finally mastered the humans door mountain and got to get a quick glimpse of what I thought was him but I can not prove it. Ahmet said he over-heard one of the humans say that Morris the Mean was dead! What??? Dead??? No fucking way! We never even got to really see him let alone have a battle. I wonder what happened? Maybe Miss Cocaine, our pet cat, killed him for us but she would have said something or at least fucking bragged about it over her breakfast. No one knows but I think we have a new problem...Ahmet said he heard the human named Kory say she had a new pet named Voo Doo. WTF is a Voo Doo? All we have seen is Miss Cocaine's new boyfriend. She calls him sweetie but I think he is the Voo Doo everyone is talking about. He is a nice enough guy but rather boring and has no entertainment value what so ever. I tried playing tag with him and he just ran outta the fucking room like someone just grabbed his ass or something. What a moron. Anyways that's all for now and I will let you know when the new baby human gets here. I am a little afraid because the mommy human has now stopped us from getting on the bed and who knows what she will fucking do next...that bitch!